Into her Grey Iris

Into her Grey Iris

"A deadly daze for my eyes to see, as I look into hers, I saw her beautiful grey iris sparkling as clear as crystal and my mind was gently shot by a reminiscence of grey skies hiding under the clouds on this particular cold yet bloody day."

Blood was spread everywhere as the pureness of one innocent mortal was dirtied off with a venom that has been passed down to her blood system. Why or how could it happen? Blame on me as I was the fault to take her soul out from her body. I wanted to leave her even though half of my heart beats for her but she refused to let me go. A monster like me must be lucky to have someone that accepted my sinful ugly acts and even loves me fully for who I am. Is it wrong for me to escort her down to my crimson world? Indeed, I was happy to have her stay by my side but I still felt she deserve to live in her own mortality world instead of suffering herself on being the most hated predator of her own kind. Ever since her fangs grew, there wasn’t any single word that describes as a complain or whine spoken by her, only a curved lining smiles were seen. Although, I could feel that inside of her was screaming silently in pain as her tainted heart was shown on her tortured beauty of a face. There was only one question that I would like to ask myself every time when I steal a stare without her noticing, “What have I done?”

“Is something bothering you, Armand?” Those lines gracefully dancing to my ears as she began to speak. Her pupil turned big as she was in a curiousity state, wondering what’s been playing around in my mind that has made me lost from reality for a moment there.

“Oh nothing, why don’t you go back to sleep?” I ignored her question and gently stroke a few strands of her hair away from her face.

She just stared at me back while carving an angelic smile. My eyes were caught by her dazzling eyes, again and it was so hard for me to resist. They say the eyes won’t tell a lie. So, has she been lying to me all this while just to keep me feel less guilty for making her life turned into a nightmare? I hope not but truthfully, why does the word pain written and seen in her eyes?

The sacrifices she made to live as an immortal with me were too big and yet, I still didn’t bother to care a single thing about it because I know as long as she’s with me, she would be utterly happy. “So what? It’s not like she’s gonna leave me? She loves me.” Yes, I have to admit, for a horrible creature like me, I may have taken her for granted because the fact that she would leave me someday was never been pictured in my mind.

Staring deep into her eyes while being amazed by her unique eye colour, I almost forgotten that it wasn’t only her iris that I’m attached to, it was actually her, my Iris was the other reason why I couldn’t help myself from getting mesmerized. I was touched by her innocent soul. “Are you really happy to be with me, Iris?” In my heart, I was longing to ask her but something has made me refrain from letting it out. My fear to hear her say the opposite words of what I expected her to blurt out was taking control over me because I know as far as I wanted to drain away her misery in life by just letting her to have me near, well it wasn’t good enough. Come to think of it, I wasn’t always by her side at times, when she needed me as much as I have promised I will be there.

“You’re going off again? Leaving me, here?” Iris caught me, one night, before I left the apartment we stayed in to run some errands for the Vampire Council.

“Gotta settle some work, not to worry, baby, I’ll be back before you knew it.” I faked my lines at all given time to avoid her from having the urge to feel neglected assuming the duty I was assigned to always ended up for days!

“See you when I get to see you, then.” She just smiled. I gave her a peck kiss on the cheek and hurried myself off to the door for an escape.

I trained her not to be afraid when I’m gone because I know that she is a weak hearted. Loneliness will lead to wrath and soon it will lead to hatred and alas, it will drive the human blood thrist that we desire. I don’t wanna see her becoming a maneating monster when she’s already a part of it, known as a bloodsucking creature all because of that one bite by me. By training her to fight against her loneliness, I shut her down completely by overshadowing my caringness with an ignorance. For one thing, Iris was never mad at me for leaving her alone as to let me settle my personal things even though it seemed that most of the time I totally ignored her when she seeks for my attention while I was away. Maybe deep inside she was raging like a fire but nevertheless she would portray that enrage character of hers in front of me.

I ought to receive the same emotion from Iris whenever I came back from my long disappearing trip. That “everything -is-fine” smile was always etched upon her face as she welcome me back home. It felt as though she pretended everything is okay when clearly everything was not okay. She made everything wrong, right again, making me feel less guilty for all the things we’ve gone through together. When she pulled out that smile, I just knew she is happy to see me and that has managed to kill my worries for her. All I ever wanted was to make her happy to be with me. “Did I ever succeed? Or is it a failure?” Judging by her smiles, I can pretty much say ‘jackpot!’ But then again, through her eyes, she gave me a million reason to have doubts on her true meaning of happiness.

I may be an undead guy who doesn’t know how to treat her well but sometimes, it makes me wonder, why me? Why did she let me have a bite on her neck? Why did she let me turned her into one of my kind? Why did she choose me to be in love with? I’m way out from the perfection list but yet, I was marked on the top of her list. Why me? It hit me like a lighting to think of it, “Should I let her stay or go?” If she stays I would be happy to have her in my life. And if I let her go, I would still be happy as to see her finding her own road to a happy ending by having someone who isn’t me by her side. It is all up to her own choice of happiness, as about now she have chosen me. Hence, to see her shed some tears because of my unintentional wrongdoings would only make me feel like I was just not meant for her.

“Iris, why do you love me?” One day, I wanted to hear the real truth coming out from her own mouth.

“What? Armand, what’s with the question?”

“Just a thought. Why do you love me? I mean you’re totally aware of my imperfections and sometimes, I tend to make you feel hurt. So, why do you still love me?”

“You wanna know why?”

“Yes. Tell me why.”

Iris looked deeply into my eyes and started to confess with her ever soft tone of voice. “Armand, my love. You’ve made me happy without doing anything and by just standing by my side while surprisingly, you’ve let me carve a smile without a reason even though sometimes you’ve made the rain pours down on me. You’ve brought the beautiful colours of rainbow in my dull yet empty days of life, how could I not love you? That happiness I feel whenever I’m right beside you couldn’t be replaced with any other things. The reason is only because of you. Somehow, in words I couldn’t just explain, you seems to be one of those precious reasons to my happiness in life.”

“I love you.” I replied to her with a gentle kiss on the forehead, followed by an intimate hug as soon as I was seeing her smiling wide, not only on her lips but in her eyes too. I had hope to see her eyes glistening with those glitters of happiness and it came true. There was a lesson for me to learn, here. I just need to remind myself to appreciate of having her as my lover and that’s all she needed in order for her to light up that smile in her eyes instead of letting it be hidden under the clouds of her temporary pain.

The End