Confessions of the Lone One

Confessions of the Lone One

It seemed to be crowded in such a huge ballroom as I was surrounded with gorgeous passionate immortal lovers all around me. A beautiful melody of music was being played as they were dancing, also exchanging kisses and bites to one another for the taste of love like all typical vampires who are practically in love would do. On the other hand, I was standing there wandering about, alone while all eyes on me. “Why am I here again?” I asked myself at the same time trying not to be ashamed of having only shadows by my side on that lonely night.

“Hey, babe.” That tall guy with a handsome flawless face nudged me. He winked at me, with a sign of wanting a little treat from the lonely girl.

“Buzz off, handsome. I’m waiting for someone.” I snapped to him as being annoyed upon his flirtacious act.

Not to be bragged about it, but this has happened to me a lot! Yes, they were all hot and some of them might just be my type of guy but it all boils down to the fact that I’m already attached to someone. My heart had always been and will always belong to him. That would probably be the main reason why I turned down a lot of offers from those gorgeous guys who surprisingly desire for my attention. All of them just couldn’t beat him off the list. But for one thing I hate the most, I always have to deal with his act of disappearance. Where is he, the one I love when I need him? Simply, I don’t know. Well, he’s nowhere to be found. Might be disappear. Or should I say, dead?

I walked out from the nicely decorated ballroom where the party was held, just to ease myself from my worries on thinking of him. Yet again, he left me alone for the night. Inside of me was breaking into pieces but I’ve managed to carve some fake smiles in front of the others, especially to the ones who knew me. Pretending to be happy was my biggest achievement ever, nobody knew that I was actually one of those stars who could win a golden globe award for the title of best actress.

The ballroom was attached to a wide art nouveau inspired balcony and through it all, that was the one place where I belong to that night. Standing still under the glowing moonlight, seas of stars and dark sky, the beautiful scenery of night always soothes me every time my mind is tangled in a mess. I tried to avoid from thinking too much about him but my attempt has always been written with the word ‘fail’ all over it. Ignorance caused a disturbance to me, I have to admit that. How could I just ignore it when we were supposed to walk together in our journey of happy ending but turns out, I am walking all alone? What more, when he doesn’t care to chase me down the pathway, letting me to have all these hurtful bruises and cuts by the thorns of bushes in the surrounding. I could be mental on thinking of him and when negative thoughts started to appear, that’s the most dreadful part of all.

My heart became weaker in every second. It hurts me every time to think because it wasn’t like this, back then. The guy namely, Xavier used to make me happy for all the time and used to be all sweet at the very beginning when our love was blooming. At this point, I ought to realize that love would not just bring happiness to you but also pain as an additional flavor. I bear it all even though it tortured me at times, only because I once did a wise decision to be with him, so who am I to kid?

“Oh Xavier, don’t you know that I miss you oh-so-terribly.” I said to my heart and immediately, tears filled my eyes. “And I miss the old you.” I wiped my pouring tears away from my face but it kept on coming like a heavy rain.

“Ania.” My name was called out by him as I heard it clearly in my ears. I turned around to see my love was there, right in front of my eyes.

“Ania, what are you doing here? I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“I..I..I...”

“And are you crying? Tell me, you’re not crying, now!” Xavier’s tone of voice started to volume up as he saw me in tears.

“No, I wasn’t crying. There was something in my eyes.” I turned my back around to wipe my flowing tears but instead, more tears kept raining down. That moment, I knew that I couldn’t lie to him anymore. “I couldn’t take it anymore, Xavier. I know you hate to see me cry because of you but.......I’m so sorry.”

“Hey..........why are you like this, Ania?” Xavier came closer to have me lean on him. He wrapped me with his arms just to give me the comfort I needed.

“It hurts me badly to miss you. So, please don’t leave me on my own again.”

“Ania, I’ve already told you, right? Sometimes if I tend to ignore you, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love or care about you...”

I pulled myself away from him, I just need to let it all out, “You should know I cried because I miss you rather than feeling hurt upon on how you treated me, lately. I tried to understand you, Xavier...why can’t you just understand me, at times? I’m not asking too much of your attention, at least you could just give a little of what I deserve to have, like the old days, then it’ll be fine with me. Now, it seems that I am nothing to you at all.”

“Ania...” Xavier sighed assuming he didn’t know what else to say.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you still love me, Xavier?”

“You know I always will.”

“Then, show me that you deserve to have me in your life. Don’t make me regret on choosing you as my lover. If not, don’t make me wait for you forever, just let me go.” My tears seemed to never stop even when those lines were said. My feelings were jumbled up, I was too hurt to bear anything anymore.

Xavier hugged me tight like it was the end of my immortality life and a tear fell down his cheek. “I won’t let you go. I promise I will never leave you again, Ania. I love you.” He looked me in the eyes as his fingers were gently stroking my fringe. From a tender kiss on my lips that later changed into a bite under my neck, I just knew that one promise of his was securely sealed as well as the moon witnessed it all.

The End